DE VOS, Regina
Our dear mother, Regina, passed away the morning of June 6th at Creek Way Village Long Term Care, Burlington, in her 91st year. Regina was predeceased in 2010 by Tony, her loving husband of 65 years; son-in-law Richard Tkacz; brothers Henk and Theo and sister Nel. Regina is mourned by her children and their families: René and Stephanie, grandsons Jan-Christian and Adam; Myriam and Diego Quadrini, granddaughter Sarah, great-grandsons Xavier and Zane; Esther and Rick Netherby; Barbara, granddaughter Jaklyn; Sharon Tkacz, grandson Michael; Marc and Jenny Marino, granddaughter Bella; Andrea and Kevin Cunningham. She is survived by extended family in the Netherlands and England, and by many friends in Canada. Regina was a beautiful, intelligent, determined, resourceful individual; a devoted, affectionate wife; and a caring, loving mother. Her constant positive outlook and determination was evident throughout her life during many daunting challenges - as a teenager surviving enemy occupation in the Netherlands during WWII; as a young bride and new mother when separated from Tony during his military service; and in the decision with Tony to emigrate to Canada with young children, on separate voyages across the Atlantic. She found the energy to raise a large family, work full time (International Harvester, Hamilton), advocate for social issues in the workplace and community, and the ability to balance this with expert gardening, numerous crafts, family games, constant reading and learning languages, not to mention kicking up her heels to dance. Regina left us a varied legacy of respect for learning however achieved, love of travel, steadfast care for family and community, and recipes for hearty and nourishing soups. Visitation at SMITH’S FUNERAL HOME, 485 Brant Street (one block North of City Hall), BURLINGTON (905-632-3333), on Monday, June 13, 2016 from 9:30 a.m. until the time of funeral service at 10:30 a.m. Reception to follow. Regina will be buried, together with Tony, at Holy Sepulchre Cemetery. The family will be forever grateful for the outstanding care from the staff at Creek Way Village. In lieu of flowers the family would greatly appreciate any donations to the Willow Foundation, the Alzheimer’s Society, or the Good Shepherd Centre Hamilton.

Eulogy
On a Sunday afternoon in Holland in 1942, a young woman is going to her first dance. She’s nervous. She lied to her parents, they think she’s gone to help with a friend’s sick grandmother. She’s early, one of the first to arrive. Her girlfriend said to meet her in the first alcove on the right. When she gets to the booth, there’s a young man already seated there. The woman goes to sit down but the man says ”Sorry, this section is taken”. To which the young woman replies, “But I belong here too!” and she sits down anyway. This is how our mom met our dad, the love of her life.

She always had this determination. It served her well. My mom and dad were forever connected after that chance meeting….together in marriage for 65 years thereafter. She could’ve walked on from that booth, but her feistiness let her find Tony, and go on to create our beautiful family, and it brought us here today. We’re lucky to have such a role model.

We’re here to commemorate the life of Regina De Vos, the 4th and last surviving child of Theodorus and Regina Bandsma of Bloemendaal, Netherlands. Mother to seven children. Grandmother to 6 grandchildren. Great grandmother to 2 great grandchildren.

This is a time to reflect on our mother’s life. A life that started in Holland. She grew up with depression-era hardships. She spent her teen years surviving at the epicentre of a world war. She emigrated by sea with 3 kids to a strange new land.... and had 4 more kids while working full time. Yes, there were struggles, but that didn’t stop her from having the time of her life.

How did she do this this you might ask? One way was her incredible curiosity. She always had a willingness to try new things; quilting, calligraphy, photography, stained glass, paper tole, to name just a few.

Some of these hobbies came and went but a lifelong endeavour was definitely her and dad’s garden. No surprise I guess, being immigrants from Holland. After they arrived in Canada, our mother was quite shocked by the lack of fresh flowers available at stores. In Holland you get fresh flowers ever day. And she always noted the absence of gardens when driving by houses.

But once in Canada, no matter where they lived; Binbrook, Fruitland, Aldershot, a garden was made. Love and care went into them like they were part of the family. And it showed. It wasn’t unusual to see admirers in front of our house on Townsend Ave., even people standing beside their cars taking pictures! And if you thought the front yard was good, the backyard was even better. Sometimes when company came over for the first time, there would be an audible gasp as they made their way through the back gate.

With its colourful flowers, large trees, meticulous lawn, meandering pathways, goldfish pond and waterfall, birdbaths and bird houses, sitting areas, and work areas….. in many ways, the garden provided the family everything it needed.

Our mom’s kindness and love of sharing also comes to mind today. She always thought of others. As an immigrant herself, it seemed like she looked out for those who were new or alone, and she wouldn’t hesitate to reach out in some way to comfort them. Never flashy or with fanfare, it was always a simple but heartfelt gesture. She always had a kind and generous spirit that revealed itself in many different ways. If there was new family that moved into our neighbourhood, we knew what was coming next, there was a protocol. My mother would cut some of her most beautiful flowers from the garden, arrange them into a lovely bouquet, and then march one of us right over there to welcome them into the neighbourhood. As a little kid, I remember making no qualms that I was embarrassed at having to fulfill this duty, but also being secretly proud of the flowers I held in my hand and of my mother for displaying such thoughtfulness.

Even this past week, after her death, her thoughtfulness lived on when Esther received a bouquet of peonies from a friend as a gift of condolence. Lo and behold, the original plant was given to Esther's friend by our mom over 20 years ago.

The garden was the perfect setting to host many family events too. As I recall all the memories, I think, what didn’t happen there. It was playground, gym, tanning bed, soccer pitch, campground, waterpark, litterbox and even a church so to speak, for Sharon and Richard’s wedding.

The garden gave so much to so many people over the years, but it may have been most important to her. I know she went there to put up her feet and relax but I have no doubt it’s where she did most of her thinking, grieving, problem-solving, meditating and decompressing, and yes, with seven kids there was a great need for all of these. The garden was her place of therapy, of that I’m sure.

In the same way, what she created was a sanctuary for all of us. It was a safe place, it was where we could be ourselves, it was home. What our mother unknowingly instilled in all of us was a set of principles and a way of life. And even though she's gone, she's ensured her children's hearts always have a symbolic garden to go to.

As a testament to our mother’s qualities; kindness, curiosity, devotion, tenacity, loyalty, creativity and courage, we are our mother’s garden. Thank you mom.We love you, we honor you, may you rest in peace with dad forever.

Before we say goodbye, we want to share something on a lighter note. We know mom would've appreciated it. Our mom had a pretty good sense of humour and mischief too. Here's a little story we all remember.

As supper was getting close, as typical kids, we would ask "What’s for dinner, what’s for dinner?", and our mom would ALWAYS say in Dutch “stront met strapees”. We didn't know what it meant, but it sounded delicious so we just accepted it. It wasn’t until years later that she finally told us what “stront met strapees” meant. All those times when we would ask what’s for dinner, she was replying……..”shit with stripes”.

And with that little laugh, and our hearts full of love, we say goodbye to you today, our beloved mother.


Written and read by Marc & Andrea De Vos